HHWW (Holding Hands While Weeping)

This morning’s drive to work wasn’t the usual trip. For one, it’s a Saturday and usually it’s only Agom who goes out to work while I hibernate at home. Today, I decided to join him so I can work on some backlogs at the office.

It was smooth driving up to Buendia in contrast to our usual Monday to Friday trips when we always get stuck in traffic and blame the coffee for not working its magic. We had a nice breakfast and was looking forward to a badminton game tonight and planning an early mass tomorrow at U.P. Diliman, a good jog for me, and a grand journey for Frodo riding the red pick-up.

Half-way through Buendia, Agom got a call and all I can hear was him saying "SHIT, SHIT!" I thought to myself, oh no not another business deal gone awry early in the day. Agom’s day is either full of promise because a new customer placed a sizeable order that means sustained business and incomes for the people who depend on every single penny earned by AMS or its a SHIT-ty day when orders are cancelled because the same people who’s bread and butter is AMS did not do their job or did but in a sluggish manner that customers are pissed off.

So I asked: “what’s wrong this time?” Wifehood to Agom means sharing in his business frustrations and giving some consolation once in a while. Agom did not reply, instead he reached for my hand, held it tight and let the tears flow. My mind wracked for answers and the tendency was to think of death in the family. Who could it be? Then Agom tearfully announced that Thoy, a young cousin who's now a police officer, died in an ambush in Virac. He gripped my hand much stronger this time and how I wished I could give him all my strength to confront such pain of loss. But I couldn’t, because tears were also welling in my eyes. The news slapped me in the face really hard for just moments ago, while driving along C5, we talked about not fearing the same people that killed Thoy because we believe that they are not out to harm ordinary folks like me, Agom and Thoy.

Should this death reverse our belief or should we treat it as just one of life's mysteries? I don't know yet, but in the meantime I hold Agom's hands and join in his grief.