Lost Art

It's been awhile since I got zapped into a creative mode, which partly explains the silence in this blog. Life really can suck out all the creative juices from people. I envy those people who can write poetry out of their grocery lists, compose music spontaneously while doing the laundry or come up with a painting while trying to disguise that stubborn stain on a favorite pair of jeans. That is unbridled creativity. That is really passion consuming one's whole being.

The same passion I've been looking for the past months but simply can't. I'm in too deep in life and living. Weekdays, I practically don't have a life that its a bonus if I could doodle on my planner. Weekends are dedicated for nurturing - Tobi, the garden, our home...some space for creativity there but not as much as I would like it to be. The easel stand waits in our bodega...my craft shelf is gathering dust...my journal is buried under the design magazines and bills.

Must really do something about this longing. Must look for creative windows in this pile of must do's. Must give in to the old me. I miss that old me. I who got caught drawing house layouts instead of taking down notes in a history class in highschool. I designed my costumes for highschool plays while Mama enthusiastically sew it overnight. I was "commissioned" to do my highschool's stage design for a beauty contest. They loved my underwater concept complete with a giant clamshell with the beauties dressed in gowns that made them look like mermaids (this before the "Marina" or "Dyesebel" came to our visual consciousness). All these chances, I realize, were windows for my art.

I know there are such same windows in my life today and must move to opening it once more. Get that scrapbook project for Tobi going, do flower arrangements on weekends, start that dream mural for our room, and of course, blog away everyday. Enough with excuses, let out the artist in me...welcome the old me.